dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
