yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
