So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
