Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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