I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
