you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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