i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize