One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
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