I'm really into asian looking animals
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
