"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
