Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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