I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
