hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
