yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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