I could have mohawked her pubes.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
