i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
