bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
