I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
