No awkward lesbian experiences without me
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
