Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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