yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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