i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
