I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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