Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
