i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
