You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
