i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize