$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
