Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
