I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize