What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
