I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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