some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
