i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
