You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
