I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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