Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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