I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
