Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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