i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
