i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
