Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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