stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
