I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
