Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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