with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
