Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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