Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
