I just cut my nipple shaving
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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