Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
