Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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