oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
