I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
