As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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