Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize