Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
