It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
