At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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