SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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